Decapitated Gingerbread Men Just Taste Better

I’d love to offer you a deeply felt apology of why I’ve been blog-silent for the last few months, but the fact is that I was rocking full-time school, making a very hungry baby (still baking – 3rd trimester!), and trying to raise my 2 children to be decent human beings. By the end of the each day, my brain felt like a pancake, a food which is notoriously unproductive and not smart enough to get into OSU. So I like you a lot, but I’m not sorry. Okay?

Anyway, the entire purpose of this post is that a friend of mine had a cookie decorating party, and even though my pastry decorating skills are vastly underdeveloped, I had a great time anyway because this friend is so good at throwing parties she makes every party I’ve ever thrown look like I invited people to hang out with me at the dumpsters behind Domino’s Pizza and eat garbage while we chat about obscure eastern religions and how expensive milk has gotten.

Some of the cookies we made were pretty easy – like, spreading frosting around and putting sprinkles on top. But one of the cookies, a cute little snow globe with gingerbread men frolicking about in the spirit of Christmas, required me to spread three different colors of frosting on the same cookie. According to Martha Stewart, I was supposed to keep the colors separate, but I’m pretty sure she was having a bad day in jail or getting high with Snoop Dogg when she wrote that because it was absolutely not possible. I ended up with red smeared all up in my white “snow,” making it look like there had been a recent murder in my snow globe.

So, as I usually do when confronted with fictional murder involving baked goods, I made the best of things: I decapitated one of the gingerbread men candies and created a tasty Christmas crime scene.

decapitated gingerbread cookie

As you can see, I used some white edible balls to cover up the initial blood spillage, since that’s totally what the gingerbread murderer would’ve done if he was smart and at all experienced with murder.

Do you think I should inform Martha Stewart that I have improved her design?


One thought on “Decapitated Gingerbread Men Just Taste Better

  1. I like your cookie. Clearly, the Gingerbread Man that is up in the sky/atmosphere….(the one that is obviously in love because of the heart nearby)…. committed the crime probably because of a forbidden love that they shared. It is sad…may the little head-less one R.I.P.

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