September: It Has Not Been Sans Sophistication

Summer is over for many of you, but for a few more glorious days, I am rocking the sweet freedom that allows me to watch inappropriate amounts of television after my kids go to bed. My theory is that if I use HGTV, Breaking Bad, and So You Think You Can Dance to kill as many brain cells as possible, my mind will be almost completely blank going into my first term as a full-time OSU student. It might be like I’ve never learned anything at all! That’s a smart plan, right? It sounds good sitting here on my couch, but it’s hard to do logic while also streaming Property Brothers.

This is one of my update posts, so I’ll be making a list for you about what it’s like right now…

livin tha c life

What what!

1. I went to an all-day Beth Moore simulcast, which means she was live in all the world, or something close to that. But, against all odds, “all the world” included Baker City, so I got to spend a beautiful day sans motherly or wifely responsibilities. I like to say “sans” sometimes on account of how sophisticated it is. For example, I often order my sandwiches at Subway “sans mayonnaise.” See? Totally classy.

Beth Moore simulcasts in Baker City are certainly not sans sophistication. All throughout the facility where we met were thoughtful little touches of things ladies like: coconut soap in the bathroom; a little basket with floss picks and a bottle of ibuprofen; power point slides bordered with pink bows; water bottles at each seat, chicken caesar salads for lunch; displays of sunflowers in galvanized buckets and bales of hay. These things are part of how I knew I was at an event for sophisticated ladies, since foul smelling hands and bow-less power points are sure signs that your event is sans sophistication.

The caesar salads were delicious, by the way. But have you ever been to an all-ladies event where they served burgers? Like, with bacon and onion straws? I think if you’re going to serve foods laden with saturated fat at an all-ladies event, you’ve got to keep it in foods where it doesn’t juice all over the place, like cupcakes.

2. THE KNICK KNACKS CABINET IS GONE. This piece of furniture’s presence in my home as been so upsetting that I even wrote a post about it last year. The cabinet held our precious ceramics for a small while, then when we moved it to accommodate a Christmas tree – more than 9 months ago – the household affront to all nice furniture has stood empty in our entryway, holding nothing but oxygen, while also uglying up a house that already has very little going for it in the beauty department.

Praise the Jesus, it is now gone, to the home of my brother in law, where it will no doubt receive new life housing his collection of beer growlers and possibly some very precious XOBX paraphernalia.

3. B.T. asked me an awkward question that I was in no way ready for – “Mommy, how the babies get into your tummy?”  After a brief, ” panicked pause, I said, “Well…Mommy and Daddy wanted to have another baby…then we talked to Jesus…then we did some stuff…THEN THERE WAS A BABY IN MY TUMMY!!”

At the end, I raised my tone of voice and threw my arms out to signal that this was the MOST EXCITING PART and WE MUST FOCUS OUR ATTENTION RIGHT HERE. I actually use that a lot to create excitement for some truly mundane events. It works pretty much every time. Sometimes I wonder if I can use it on myself, too. Maybe like – “When I’m done with the breakfast dishes…(picture my eyes widening and my voice starting to raise here)…I’m gonna CLEAN THE TOILETS!!!” I think I’m on to something, like, psychologically.

4. Even though I start Fall term this Monday, I got suuuuuper pumped to discover that 3 of my syllabi were already online. SCHOOL NERD SCORE.

One of my five (!) classes is called Lifetime Fitness for Health. Today I learned that this class, a requirement for my degree, is “designed to present relevant nutrition, exercise, and weight management information to first year students transitioning to independent living.” Excellent! Totally me!..um…15 years ago.

I also have a lab for this class, which means that at some point I will be required to assess both my muscular strength and flexibility. According to the class schedule I printed out today, these activities will occur when I am roughly 7 months pregnant – the perfect time to assess muscular strength and flexibility.

That’s it for this edition of Tha C-Life. If you’re wondering about my pregnancy, things are baking up juuuuust fine. At 16 weeks, I have finally stopped feeling barfy, which means I can eat ice cream again. And some of my fatigue has given way to cookie baking and a greater willingness to get off the couch to make myself snacks instead of coercing Ryan to do it.

I gotta go, you guys. Parenthood isn’t exactly going to watch itself, is it?

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One thought on “September: It Has Not Been Sans Sophistication

  1. I think that it is going to be unfair for the other students during your strength assessments. You are going to have the strength of two humans and that is just not right.

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