Come to My Woods With Me

School is amazing and I have been devoting most of my writing energy to decent grades and a bachelor’s degree. I have no idea if you wish I blogged much more or, you know, never started a blog at all, but either way, Livin’ tha C-Life is all about writing the stuff that gets me a bachelor’s degree instead of the fun bloggy stuff.

So for now, you’ll have to settle for little snippets of Tha C-Life, ’cause I want you to know what’s happening in my woods. Will you please come to my woods with me?

livin tha c life

I’m so thug, but like in a positive, achieve-your-dreams type of way, as opposed to a negative, commit-lots-of-crimes type of way.

So here’s what’s been going on lately:

1. My Husband Stopped Helping Me With Everything

…but it was more or less legit because he got sick. THEN, even though he was already a little sick, he worked, then went to a fireman training, then worked more, then went to work again. So…he got sicker. Like – so sick he almost lost the will to play XBOX. Don’t panic! That’s why I said he almost lost the will…specifically so you wouldn’t panic.

I got sick shortly after this, partly due to germs and partly due to the fact that I ran myself ragged taking care of everyone, including someone who required many cans of chicken noodle soup with saltine crackers while he answered the call of duty (see what I did there?).

2. I Read an Entire Book on the Toilet

I took a pee break the other day and it suddenly struck me that one of my recreational books (I like to call them that because then it sounds like my potty breaks are like spring break in cancun) had spent the last 3 weeks on next to the potty, and that I had read nearly the entire thing in a whole bunch of 2 minute increments whilst taking pees.  B.T. might grow up thinking  that all the mommies read before they wipe.

3. I Just Crawled Out of a Mad Men Hole

We don’t bother paying for cable TV in this household, as I don’t want Fox News on for 36 hours a day and my husband probably doesn’t want to hear me constantly obsess over people’s curtains on HGTV. We rock both Hulu Plus and Netflix up in here – it’s much cheaper and it discourages  Time Warner from calling my phone every day asking if I’d like to pay $1,000 a month for cable or install 17 land lines (when what they’re really asking is, “Will you give this company money because I’m so obnoxious?”).

I watched the first four seasons of Mad Men on Netflix in like 6 minutes and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. The episode where they have a riding lawn mower in the office and someone’s foot gets run over and nearly cut off scared the crap out of B.T., which is the moment when I stopped watching it in front of him (he was still young enough then that he didn’t repeat everything or loudly notice ladies’ boobs).

When the 4 seasons ended, I quietly wept and spent a year longing for its return to Netflix. THEN I discovered I can buy the episodes on amazon.com, so buy them I did and mmmmmm boy did I watch the crap out of them.

And so that was like the longest I’ve ever taken to be like, “I watched Mad Men.”

4. I Am Obssesively Listening to Ellie Goulding/Skrillex’s “Bittersweet”

because apparently I’m a huge sucka for songs off the Twilight soundtracks, with the exception of Muse, a band that I feel like is the world’s most perfectly awful combination of rock, bad opera music, and whining.

Since we can say that “Bittersweet”  is on my mental “best of” list for this week, here are a few other things that I’m giving awards to in my brain:

#a. This hilarious article in the New Yorker is about how one of the candidates for the pope was disqualified for, among other things, “throwing gang signs at the camera and steadily drinking from two Old Milwaukees mounted on a beer hat.”  (Thanks to my friend Mary for posting this on Facebook.)

#b. Pretty much the most amazing explanation of St. Patrick’s Day I’ve ever heard, told by someone who does a spot-on impression of Kristen Stewart.

#c. David Sedaris’ essay “Naked,” from his book of the same title. It’s a story about spending a week in a trailer at a nudist campground. Aren’t you sick of never reading about nudists? The nudists get like no play in this country.

#d. In addition to music from motion pictures teenage girls love, I am also a sucka for those Bad Lip Reading videos (they’re hilariously ridiculous). This one was  made for the 2013 Independent Spirit awards, so it’s a compilation of bad lip readings of a couple of different movies (my favorite is the clip from Moonrise Kingdom).

Well! Thanks for coming to my woods! I’d love to know some random things you’ve been up to while living your B-Life or M-Life or what have you.

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6 thoughts on “Come to My Woods With Me

  1. I read part of a book on the toilet, too. However, that was at work, and that was before I realized that having a communal book in a work bathroom stall was epic-ly nasty, and the fact that it was an inspirational book did not make it any less full of germs. Ick.

  2. I like the fact that Ryan was able to eat many cans of Chicken Noodle Soup while answering the “Call of Duty” and you in turn were able to read almost an entire book while answering the “Call of Doody”. eh? 😉

  3. Hello, Mommy here. I actually read your blog earlier( I’ve read them all, of course), but just getting around to making a few comments. I figured you were very busy with your school work, but was happy to see a new one. I don’t think it’s any big deal reading a book on the toilet, as long as it’s not shared. Yuk Now, having a conversation with someone while they are on the phone. Well, I just don’t care for that. I say, just call me back when your done going poop. I mean, the call couldn’t be that important. Double Yuk. I can’t stand Fox news, but do enjoy HGTV. I have never watched Mad Men, but love Dexter. I wished I had taken my time watching all the episodes, some for the 2nd time( 12 Seasons, 84 episodes in less than a month). And, now I have to wait until June 30 for Season 8. Bummer. And, it’s probably going to be the last season. I am seriously addicted to that TV show. Well, that’s all I have to say for now. Love You, and keep blogging. Mommy

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