Baby Ham is turning 1 very soon! One of his presents is this “sweet” little board book I found on amazon.com. It’s a touch-and-feel book, which is totally Baby Ham’s jam right now.
Because I didn’t see it in a store, I judged it’s fitness for our collection o’ books by the limited preview on the website. It didn’t strike me as particularly aggressive.
(Oh, and if you’re not familiar with the board book scene, touch-and-feel books have little sections on each page with different textures for babies to feel up. They’re much less creepy than they sound. Feeling = learning.)
When the book arrived the other day, I flipped through it and was pleased. It’s cute and it rhymes, which means I can read it in a sing-songy voice to my little Hammers, which will be wildly soothing.
He is, isn’t he? Good for you, pig! You’re going to be some exceptionally delicious bacon someday.
Like paper, right? But most wheels aren’t made of paper. Isn’t learning fun?!
See? It’s cute and simple. And little Baby Ham is totally going to feel this book and learn things about the textures of the world.
The last page, though…that’s where things start to get ugly.
Touch this cow right now, Baby Ham.
Wait, no, stop drinking your milk. Touch this cow instead.
I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE BUSY BABY HAM TOUCH THIS COW IMMEDIATELY.
I hope it doesn’t hurt his feelings when I read it to him.