School starts for me again in a week + 2 days. Not that I’m counting down or anything, or feeling the crushing dread of late nights spent on homework instead of watching My Fair Wedding or other lady shows.
Something magical happened today, though. Not like fairy magical or Disney magical, but community college magical. Could this be the greatest magic of all?
Probably not, but it was still awesome. So okay. My two classes this term were Biology 101 and History of Folk Music. (Don’t laugh. It’s for my degree. The textbook is called “Creating Country Music,” which sort-of makes me want to stab my left eye with a banjo pick.)
Today I found out Biology is straight mutha f*&$#n’ CANCELLED. What? Cancelled? Wait. I don’t get it.
I am really close to ending my community college career and there are only three classes I can take at this point. Sooo…out goes biology and in comes…WRITING! HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! It’s a writing class I have already taken but must take again because the state of Oregon is making me. That’s another story but I’ll probably never tell it to you because it’s pretty boring. Do you want to read a boring story on this blog? “I already am, Corinne!” Haha. Fine. Good one.
I know I’ll just have to take the biology class another time, but my point is that I don’t have to do it next week. So the community college magic wand has sprinkled its pixie dust on me once again (the last time was when I had a class with a girl who snored so loudly it was impossible to hear the teacher).
Part of my giddy, I-just-won-the-lottery feelings are because last term was pretty tough. I had College Algebra and Biology and Baby Ham wanted to be held a lot during homework time. This is known as The Trifecta of Getting Nothing Done.
One thing that was especially hellacious was the requirement for biology that I draw many different organisms, like jellyfish or the insides of a worm. I have the artistic talent of a rock, so I would spend thirty minutes sweating all over my colored pencils and end up with like a blob of varying shades of yellow with black circles on it. It supposedly lives in the ocean.
Want to see an example? This particular assignment is special because in addition to showcasing my lack of talent, I also managed to incorporate a dirty picture.
First of all, please notice I received a PERFECT score on this assignment, despite the quantity of birds I embarrassed.
Second, did you see it? I noticed it immediately when my instructor handed it back. It was kind-of horrifying.
The cut-off writing to the Northwest of the penis feather says, “These are just too cute!” So obviously my instructor didn’t notice my subconscious attempt to celebrate penises while I was supposed to be learning the scientific names of birds. Unless she finds phallic bird feathers “too cute.” Maybe I should use that on Ryan later…”Oh, honey! That thing is just TOO CUTE! And it’s crazy how much it resembles one of the major identifying features of the barn own, also known as Tyto alba.”
So now I guess I won’t have to worry about accidently drawing penises on my homework, unless I can find a way to slip one into the History of Folk Music. “Slip one in.” Hehe. Good one, C-rin.