First of all, major delay in this post due to a vomit party that B.T., Ryan, and myself attended early last week. Then, because I couldn’t eat for over 24 hours, my milk situation got all messed up and I ended up with mastitis. Yes, I’m talking about the milk supplied by my ladies on the “upper floor”. TMI? Maybe. But since writing about the ladies is not strictly against any of my policies, I have published it for the entire www to digest. I’m just trying to treat the ladies right so they don’t give me mastitis again.
Okay, now for the real stuff. I was going to say, “now for the fun stuff”, but I’m going to tell you about Baker City’s biggest annual event, the Miner’s Jubilee, and I was worried that someone would read “fun” and think Disneyland or browsing the home aisles of Target. It’s not a stretch to call Miner’s Jubilee fun, but it’s more like having a saltine cracker for lunch. Normally, you’d be all like – this lunch sucks. But if you were starving, a saltine cracker would be like the BEST LUNCH EVER. So that’s what Miner’s Jubilee is like. Technically it sucks, but mmmm does it taste good after all that nothing.
The entire point of the Miner’s Jubilee is to celebrate this town’s Westward Ho-ish heritage. As in, “she’s looking a little Westward Ho-ish today.” Haha! Right? But what really happened is that it occurred to someone like fifty years ago that no one was celebrating the mining industry anymore. And, on top of that, not enough people were properly acknowledging the fact that Clint Eastwood’s Paint Your Wagon was filmed in this area. These two things were crying out for a celebration. Enter the Miner’s Jubilee!
The big event is set up in the park, which is about a 5 minute walk from my house. Here’s one view:
For a little context, there are usually a total of between zero and two people in that area when I take the boys to the park. Here’s a few more pics to give you the general flavah:
You’ve got your basic food vendors, craft vendors, inflatable slides…you know, everything you’d need to ensure the mining industry and one of the most boring movies made get ever their due. So – instead of giving you every excruciating detail of the weekend, I’ll give you my personal highlights. I’ll even number them for you!
#1. B.T.’s first time in a bouncy house:
I know it looks like he’s alone in there, but I actually snapped the photo at a strange moment when no other kids were in view. B.T. loved this so much he kept reenacting it at home, thudding his little bottom on the living room carpet and squealing with delight, saying “I jump!”
#2. PIONEER MAN!!!
I first wrote about Pioneer Man here. Someone helpfully informed me he is not in fact one of the original pioneers, which is a little disappointing and not surprising in the least. He works at the Interpretive Center, which is the only place in Baker City that houses a ton of creepy mannequins meant to teach you about the Old West. So I was excited to see him in the flesh and let my eyes feast upon his Michael Bolton hair for a second or two. I also saw Pioneer Man’s counterpart, Pioneer Woman, speaking to a man with a confederate flag for a head covering. This counts as like half a highlight. So,
I think it’s also worth noting that this man is holding Gatorade. I believe he is trying to preserve his electrolytes while supporting the annex of the Southern United States. Perhaps the South would’ve won the war had Gatorade been invented. Whoa! Did I just say that? I probably remember reading somewhere that the war was lost partially due to rampant electrolyte shortages among the soldiers. Let your mind sponges soak that up, United States of America.
#3. B.T. has to answer a question about matches.
Kids had to answer a fire-related question, spin a wheel, then pick a corresponding prize. A very patient fire lady asked B.T. three or four times whether or not his mommy lets him play with matches. B.T. never sees matches so he was pretty confused. He knows he’s not allowed to touch the b-b-q while the dragon breathes out of it, so if the question had been about b-b-qs and mythical creatures he probably would have been more on top of things. At any rate, she finally gave up and just let him spin the wheel and claim his rubber bracelet.
#4. The Tiny Carnival
This is not its official name, but there are some rickety rides set up and overpriced tickets and at least 30 minutes of fun for small children like my B.T. He experienced carnival rides for the first time, which was pretty fun to watch.
This is a child who loves motorcycles deeply and refers to them as “Arcie,” the motorcycle character from the cartoon Transformers Prime. He was so excited to ride Arcie it was totally worth the inappropriate amount of money we were charged for this privilege.
#5. The End of Health
After the tiny carnival, we wheeled the boys back home. Ryan was making Baby Ham laugh by tilting the stroller up and shouting, “Hammers!”
B.T. hated this game, but we thought he was just tired and being a pill. Ryan had to push the stroller because I was too busy gnawing on the enormous slab of fried bread covered in cinnamon and sugar we call the Elephant Ear. When we got home and distributed the Elephant Ear, B.T. wasn’t quite himself and refused to eat it. He eventually took a bite, which triggered the first in a series of vomiting episodes that lasted into the night, then passed on to Ryan and I to enjoy. On the upside(s), Baby Ham never got it (he has crawling fever, which is a much healthier illness) and I will now never eat mozzarella sticks again.
After all this celebrating, aren’t you hungry to see another lawn o’ crap? I know I am! Check back here in a few days for another Curb Appeal: Baker City!