I don’t know if it’s that living in this town makes people want to put crap all over their front yards, or if people who like to put crap all over their yards like to live in this town. Kind of a chicken-and-egg-type conundrum.
Either way, for such a small town there seems to be a disproportionate amount of people who reject traditional indoor shelving and have chosen instead to display their junk in their front yards.
My husband likens this phenomenon to the flair on Jennifer Aniston’s Chotchkie’s vest in the movie Office Space. Many residents of this town are happy to get by on a minimum amount of flair. But there are also many residents who want to express themselves. And we encourage that.
So it is for those pioneers of outdoor self-expression that I introduce the first in a periodic series I shall call Curb Appeal: Baker City. Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to purchase a home with about 100 horse figurines on wooden planks outside? Or how about a skeleton dressed as a pirate? A miniature donkey pulling a tiny wooden cart?
Well, let’s get started, shall we? We begin with a house that is just a few blocks away from my own gem of a residence, so it was no problem to snap a few covert photos while walking my children home from the park.
You might have to click on the image to get a bit of a closer look, depending on whether or not you’re using your 50-inch TV to read this post. I have blurred out the address so none of you try to come over and steal any of this dude’s plastic animals. Or the wooden bear with a fishing pole on the porch (it says, “Fish on!”). And I can think of at least one of you specifically who probably has his or her eye on that animal skull hanging from the mailbox.
But what really first draws the eye is the celebration of tropical birds on the door. I actually have to take a deep breath when I see that so I don’t punch someone in the face.
There is so much inspiration here. For example, I’ve never even thought of taking animal skulls and hanging them from my mailbox. Or look! A little blue shark with some coral in the bottom right corner of this photo. B.T. has ocean-themed toys hidden away in his bathtub right this second. How are they ever going to benefit society if I don’t let them go public?
There are actually quite a few little themed vignettes sprinkled around this outdoor carnival of fine art. Here is the religious portion of the yard:
Of course there is the standard cross, and a couple of praying figurines. And then… a helicopter – to go up to Jesus? Towards the bottom, we have what appears to be a mini TV on a rock, on top of a birdhouse with a bird hanging out by his little birdy feet. If all this doesn’t say, “I love you, Jesus,” I honestly don’t know what does.
One of my favorite things about this home’s outdoor situation is that these objects weren’t just thrown there. Oh, no. This yard has been straight curated. I know because once when I was passing by I saw a dude outside picking through a white bucket full ofrandom objects and he was actually pretty meticulous about which was going where. Sort-of like how I imagine it would be to watch Beethoven compose a symphony, but instead of beautiful music for the ears he’s like opening fire on your eyes with his machine gun of dollar store knick-knacks.
Now I need to hear from you: what’s your favorite things about this dude’s front yard? Do you feel even the tiniest bit guilty for hoarding your children’s toys away when they could be giving your bushes a little zest?
Yay for the zesty bushes of Baker City!